Real men wears skirts
Not that a man HAS to wear skirts, what I meant was a confident man is fine with the concept of men wearing skirts.
Think about it this way, when you wrap a towel around your waist after the shower, that’s basically a skirt. A skirt is pants with one pant leg and just like pants, it can be short & feminine, long & masculine or printed with dank pizza eating unicorns. (Just googled it, it’s actually a thing. lol)
Back in the days, men wore skirts, cause skirt stands for freedom. No constraining on your legs, no chafing of your soft bits, and you can air out your twig and berries in public. Glori-OUSSS!!! ( when pants were first invented, it was made up of 2 separate leg pieces, that is why the singular for pants is plural. #dankknowledge).
So why would anyone stop wearing such a sweet piece of garment? And when did 2 pant legs = men and 1 pant leg = women started?
What had happened was - horses.
Yep! Horses started all of this. When men started to ride horses, they needed something that’s more supportive than skirts in the crotch area. #chaffedAF Cause of the war, women mostly stayed home and pants-wearing men are riding all over the place on horses, showing off their man-ness by killing, conquering and what not. Other men seeing these pants-wearing invaders and started to associate the number of pant legs with masculinity.
Then with revolutions happened (French and industrial), the sobriety of that period reflecting through the clothing and further pushing the men to wear only the colors of dirt (black, brown, lighter brown… you get it).
Horses, if you are reading this, I hope you are happy, look what you’ve done to these men!?!?
The skirt is not the only thing men used to adore. Historically, men used to wear makeup, high heels, blouses, like way before the 80s. (I'm currently picturing Dave Chappelle version of Prince. ;P) Men’s wear used to be so much more colorful and imaginative! It’s time for the men to take back the color and be fun again! And there are plenty proofs of the manliest man wearing skirts.
Maximus just winning fight after fight in a skirt with no underwear on. (That's what I choose to believe. ;P)
Achilles’ epic death, in a skirt. And I tip my hat to Brad Pitt’s commitment to finishing all of his dialog before dying, even after getting shot by like 100 arrows.
That's wearing a skirt, putting on makeup, riding horses and doing battle! #maximummanness
What did we learn today? The coolest, most bada$$ men in history wear skirts. Also, as long as you got abs, you can wear whatever. ;P
Author’s Note: Do lotion up those legs though, it ain't cute when it's ashy. Even Brad Pitt can't pull that off.
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