What do Supers wear?
Who is “The Incredibles” fan here? I AM!
My favorite character is Edna Mode. She’s famous, loaded and the exclusive designer for the top superheroes (aka Supers)!
When comes to crime fighting, a Super’s costume or super-suit needs functionalities that will fit each super’s power. But most Supers don’t wear their suit all the time. (unlike Superman; his suit must be stannnkin’ from wearing it under his clothes every day)
That got me thinking since crime doesn’t wait for the Supers to be in gears, what functionality can we put into regular clothes for Supers so they can attend to ‘saving the world’ matters before finding somewhere to change into their suits (There aren’t a lot of phone booths these days). So I'm gonna play Edna and design some features for Supers’ normal clothes.
Disclaimer: I will be mixing all diff. types of Supers here. DC, Marvel, Pixar… It's gonna be a multiverse article!! MUHAHAHA (evil laugh seems appropriate at the moment…no idea why 😐)
Aquaman: Have you ever had seafood? Then you know, things from the sea smell fishy, so it stands to reason that Aquaman will also smell fishy. For his day to day wear in the human world, it's best if he can mask that scent. So his clothes will need to be made from natural fiber, infused with the active agents from lemon and baking soda.
Black widow: She is a great fighter, so any athleisure wear will fit her just fine. She also doesn't really need a purse, seems like all her communication and tasks can be done through wearable tech. But even with all the high techy techies, she should wear legging with pockets to hide that emergency $20, cause you never know. (Can’t just stick it in the bra, that bill will be all sweaty after she gave out a$$-kickings)
Catwoman: Stealth is a very important skill for Catwoman. She wouldn’t be very effective if bad guys can hear her high heels clicking from miles away. So beautiful shoes with rubber heels. Quiet, chic and ready to hunt.
Flash: He needs the same material Edna used to make Dash’s super-suit. Fabric that can resist high friction. In our current universe, that material will be Kevlar.
Frozone: He needs moisture in the air to work his magic. What if the villain kidnaps him and puts him somewhere with no moisture! That’s why I would design him a stylish metal bracelet with a hollow center that’s filled with water.
Hulk: When he gets angry, he grows and rips off his shirt. That's hella wasteful. But you also can’t let the shirt expand when he does; with his temper and fighting style, that shirt will still be torn during the battles. I would put velcros on the sides of his shirt, so when he grows, the shirt will pop off and he can pick it up after the battle, velcro it back and wear it again.
Lucifer: In this Netflix series (based on DC comic), they depict a super being who can open and retract his wings at will. But unless all of his suits are magical as well, the wings will rip through the back. I will add concealed vertical slits in the back of all his suits, so the Devil can call upon his wings without damaging his Prada.
Magneto: Clothes made with silver threads. Not only can he manipulate the metal when he needed to, but the silver fabric also has antibacterial properties. Win Win!
Neo: Anything with color. He gets spotted so easily cause that long-a$$ gloomy trench coat. Also needs to lose the sunglasses, wearing them indoor is just douchy.
Pikachu: He doesn’t need the restraint of clothes, but will look super adorable with a top hat!
Spiderman: He can swing from building to building. But have you seen NYC buildings? They are dusty! Launch web strings and swinging off of them will get you covered in dirt, trash and pigeon dodos. So he needs a stain resistant windbreaker made with recycled plastic. Why recycled plastic? Cause Supers cares about the environment too! 🤓
Thor: Strong, broad, muscles… He just doesn’t need clothes at all. Because… that will help with… mmm… I’m sure I can justify the reason he shouldn’t wear anything… give me a moment.
Wolverine: Anytime I see a fight scene with Wolverine, he always looked…sweaty 😐 Perspiration is an issue that needs to be addressed. There are definitely ways to help with sweatiness, I will put him in all things linen. They are light, breezy and absorbent.
Wonder woman: Glitters. Cause she's fabuLOUS~!
And… NO CAPE!!!
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